How do agnostic leaning secular & non-religious cope without this comfort?
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What Is Certainty?
Certainty is an extremely important psychological state.
The feeling of certainty allows us to get on with our day, instead of getting stuck in questions, what ifs, and self-doubt.
Certainty does not mean fact. Certainty is also not the same as truth, nor is it the same as being correct.
You can feel certain you locked the door, even if it isn’t actually locked.
You can feel certain a friend will show up, even if they eventually don’t.
Even though the actual outcome isn’t certain, the fact that the person feels certainty is sufficient to enable the brain and body to relax.
Once certainty kicks in, worry evaporates.
Certainty vs Uncertainty: A Real-World Example
Certainty Is In the House
Friday rolls around.
Your brain processes what it expects to happen that day. It uses the available information:
- It’s Friday.
- Your pay has always arrived on Friday.
From this, it settles into certainty: your pay will arrive today.
Easy. Certain. Let’s get on with the day.
Certainty Has Left The Building
Friday rolls around.
Your brain recognises that it’s Friday and hopes your pay will come through.
But it doesn’t feel settled, it doesn’t feel certain that this will happen.
Instead, the what ifs begin:
- What if they forget to process your pay?
- What if it goes to someone else?
- What if the amount is wrong?
- What if you’ve been fired and no one’s told you yet?
Without certainty, the brain gets stuck in What If Town. Without certainty, the brain feels unstable, and unsettled. Certainty is the STOP sign that tells the brain to stop questioning and worrying. With certainty, we relax into relief. And what a blissful state that is.
The Psychological Benefits Of Certainty
The №1 benefit of feeling certainty is that it minimises anxiety.
When we feel overwhelmed and anxious with too many choices, self-doubt, or worry about whether we’re making the right choice, a dose of certainty can swoop in and quieten our nervous system.
Ways We Find Certainty
We adopt comprehensive worldviews. People seek certainty by committing to systems that claim explanatory reach: religion, political ideology, scientism, economic theory, therapeutic frameworks. What matters is not truth alone, but the promise of a story where everything fits together.
We look to authorities or institutions. Clergy, sacred texts, and tradition on one side; academics, experts, “the science,” or data on the other. Deference to such authorities reduces the burden of doubt. We don’t need to think, because someone else has already done it for us!
We participate in repetition, ritual, and community. Prayer and liturgy have secular cousins. The daily news cycles, social media rhythm, and shared outrage give us a focus to unite over. Routines and rituals connect us to friends, family and community by instilling a sense of stability and familiarity.
When Uncertainty Dominates
When uncertainty dominates, we can waste our days trying to problem-solve the same issue, big or small, from every angle.
We second-guess every decision we make, look and check for possible weakness or errors.
The worry about what could go wrong loops around and around.
It’s exhausting.
Is There a Dark Side to Certainty?
Unfortunately, yes.
Certainty can absolutely reduce anxiety, but it can also limit our curiosity and close the mind off to new ideas.
Integrating and incorporating new information into our existing belief systems asks a lot of the brain. It must reassess old assumptions, tolerate uncertainty, and momentarily give up the comfort of closure. It must loosen what once felt settled, sit with ambiguity, and wait longer before it can rest.
Not surprisingly, given this cost, many people find being open to new information too stressful and unsettling.
They, and their brains, prefer certainty.
Certainty about beliefs.
Certainty about ideas.
Certainty about people.
How Do Believers React When Certainty Cracks
On some level, often unconscious, a person may sense that their position is on shaky ground. They may sense that contradictory facts are stacking up or that long-held assumptions are wrong.
They individual may witness the fall of authority figures who are revealed as corrupt, fake, untrustworthy.
It’s easier for the brain to reject new information, than integrate it. To dismiss a contradictory statement is less energy intensive compared to reflecting and consider its merits. Discrediting a person as immoral, ignorant, or untrustworthy, can be the quickest and complete path towards rejecting an entire school of thought.
Psychological defensiveness is the brains most reliable belief protection strategy.
Instead of contemplating new information, the defender doubles down. A friendly debate becomes arguing, tactics become dirty, and personal attacks escalate.
Doubling down can be a sign of a fragile belief system fighting hard to avoid collapse. A collapsing belief system can trigger extraordinary distress and anxiety.
How Can Secular & Non-Religious People Cope Without Certainty?
“I don’t know.”
Being able to say “I don’t know” encourages our brain to embrace ambiguity and uncertainty. This is not a state the brain is comfortable with and you will likely feel cognitive distress or resistance, at least initially.
But if you persist, and purposefully revisit ambiguity of ideas and beliefs, break-down rebuttals and work through resistance, your mind will slowly become more flexible and open-minded.
“I don’t know” is NOT a sign of moral or ethical weakness.
“I don’t know”, and its second-cousin “I’m not sure”, make room for compassionate conversation. Stepping in to an unknown mental space and allowing the uncertainty to settle, gives your brain time to relax around new ideas.
New ideas are no longer automatically and immediately threatening.
Because you are under no obligation to integrate new ideas into your existing beliefs, you can instead start by listening. Your mind can wander, ponder, try on new ideas, and see what fits.
A brain fixated on one belief system, may deliver comfort in certainty, it offers little room for growth or personal development.
Accepting “I don’t know”
For me, “I don’t know” is increasingly becoming a safe cognitive and emotional space.
When I contemplate big metaphysical, moral, and ethics questions such as:
What happens when we die?
Is there an intelligent creator of the universe?
Does consciousness continue after we die?
Why does suffering exist?
I find myself preferring “I don’t know”.
I don’t feel comfortable claiming a position, either in the affirmative or negative. Any kind of dogmatic or doctrinal boundaries feel rigid, cagey.
When I encounter an ‘expert’ that claims to have clarity on these questions, I will confess, my brain does leap for joy. A significant part of my brain still seeks certainty, especially existential certainty, in fact I crave it!
But in the wonderful realm of the metaphysical, the universe, and humanity’s ultimate role, certainty still eludes me.
The search for certainty will continue.
Why Humanity No Longer Needs Religion
Religion helped us grow up, but science will help us transcendmedium.com
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